ellectrical | (no subject)

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(no subject)

This time, Elle stopped running before she collapsed.

As she’d started about noon, it was now nearing dusk. The sky was a deep blue slipping further into black, and Elle had dropped to the ground, sitting cross-legged in the grass near the shoreline of the lake, watching the sunlight along it dissipate as the evening deepened.

Her breathing, which not so long ago had been harsh and ragged, had evened out by now, deep and slow, so that she barely seemed to move. She didn’t flinch or even glance away at the sounds of others on the grounds, or to any sudden ripples in the water. Though her eyes on the water, she seemed to follow nothing at all, her expression not closed, but empty.

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X takes that loss of balance and moves with it, tumbling down toward the ground and possibly taking Elle with her.

At least with initiative in her corner she ought to be able to reposition herself to a) impact in a way she means to and b) possibly cushion Elle's own fall.

And after that she is going to figure out why Elle is afraid.

It is important.

Elle at least seems to have 'b)' in mind. She tries to twist so that X hits the ground first, and straightens her looped arm so that, with her free one, she can hit the ground on her hands, breaking her fall over X.

Her face is blank again, but she replies, "What do you think?"

X's flinch comes across as a slight flicker in her eyes, gaze going past Elle's shoulder for a second before refocusing on her face.

"No."

Elle straightens her right arm entirely, maneuvering on it and her foot so as to push herself on her side, and then over, falling back to the ground on her back and not getting back up.

"Once I wasn't used to it."

Beat. "Fighting."

"Oh."

X absorbs that, turning her head to look at Elle.

The rest of her remains very still.

It is entirely possible that she is trying to think of what to say. Or how to say it.

Then, very quietly --

"I do not know what that is like."

"I know."

One of her fingers idly twitches on the grass, but it's all the movement she makes.

"I'd forgotten it."

"You liked it?"

X's voice is hesitant, full of starts and stops, even over those three words.

"Then."

Elle stays silent, but her fingers keep fidgeting in the grass.

"I like it sometimes."

Her voice is different, not flat, but earnest, speaking quickly like the explanation is coming to her all at once.

"It's like I've never seen anything the right way before. And nothing has to - be a certain way. Even if it is."

There's another pause, after which her speech is slow and flat once more.

"I know that's not what you meant. But that's how I remember it."

"It -- "

X hesitates after Elle finishes talking, fingers curling and then relaxing, not quite forming fists.

"It is more important. What you remember."

Her voice is a little too forceful, even with awkward pauses in between the words.

"You know."

There's another pause.

"I liked it then."

She speaks even more slowly, like each word is the result of an equation she has to work out.

"But I was different then."

"Yes," X agrees, because it is true.

"But I -- "

She frowns, picking through her brain for the right words.

The ones she finds, well --

"I think you can be different now. Too. If you want."

X turns to look more fully at Elle, propping herself up on her elbow.

"Not -- it will not be the same. But you do not have to not use it. What you remember. If -- "

Her voice goes quiet as she repeats herself.

"If you want."

"I don't ignore it."

Elle's still on her back, eyes watching the now darkened sky.

"But I don't -"

Beat. "It's - hard to put together. I don't remember it like it all happened - to me. And I had to -"

But she stops there.