ellectrical | (no subject)

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The first thing Elle asked, after X brought her into the apartment, was to take a shower. She's glad she won't be leaving traces at her motel back her own world, but as for why she should feel safer here than her room in the Bar – there's no good reason for that. But Elle also really doesn't care.

She's still rubbing a towel against her slightly damp hair when she emerges into the main room. Her bloodied t-shirt has been exchanged for a different, light blue one, and her jeans for gray sweatpants. Without her makeup, the bruise on her face is clearly visible, but for whatever reason, neither it nor her broken rib bothers her so much here.

Her bare feet pad quietly against the floor, and she takes a few steps into the room before she looks up, and spots X.

"Thanks," she murmurs.

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X gives her another once-over, quick and efficient.

"It was an ambush?"

She nearly smiles, mirthless as it is, but that does result in a short, sharp pang, and it fades quickly.

"Guess that's what I was trying to do."

"Oh."

X frowns, deeply.

"There was unexpected support?"

She does not think there is anyone on Elle's side to leak information.

Unless that has changed.

"No, I just -"

She puts the towel down. Her hand slides idly to her right side.

"Just - I'll tell you what happened, okay?"

Elle doesn't follow that up immediately, but she is meeting X's eyes.

"Okay," X says, a little more quietly.

And --

"Thank you."

She worries.

She cannot help it.

(She does not want to.)

She nods, slightly, and her eyes drop.

"There was this guy - one of those guys who got out when I -"

Elle breaks off. Hopefully X will be able to follow.

"And I knew where he was."

"You were apprehending him?"

X says this cautiously, as if she is feeling out what happened.

"Or he had useful information?"

Elle hesitates.

"I wasn't going to apprehend him."

There's a slight, thought not unkind, stress on the word apprehend.

"Oh."

Beat.

"He was dangerous?"

X is slightly confused.

"He was like the rest of them," she answers, with a shrug that only moves her left shoulder.

"He - killed someone and it got attention."

The kind the Company didn't like, anyway.

"Okay," X says.

Beat.

"You still want to stop them?"

"He was there."

It's not really a 'yes.'

"I just - I knew where he was. I thought I could do it."

Edited 2010-02-23 02:37 (UTC)

X tilts her head very slightly, gaze gone more intent.

"He was waiting?"

Elle leans back into the sofa, staying silent for a long moment.

When she does speak, it's not at all an answer.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

She frowns, confused.

"I do not understand."

"I know."

Her voice has dipped very low.

"You're always -"

I didn't know and you never - went back.

"I couldn't do anything for you. But I can't -"

I didn't know you could.

"You do not have to -- "

X fumbles for words.

She cannot find the right ones.

"I did not -- "

Beat.

"I am trying. To be better."

Her eyes don't come up. She leans forward slightly again, her elbows resting on her legs.

"I can't stop. I know you don't - I don't help you, but -"

fuck this, I don't know why, I just kinda-
I don't think either of us need another-

It was never anything good for them. And she could just not care, sometimes. Most of the time. They had to deal with it But with X -

Her head shakes slightly, and her voice is calm. Maybe even slightly resigned.

"You help me and I can't stop that."

"You help me."

The protest is reflexive, heartfelt, and fierce.

X is good at that, at least.

Sometimes.

Elle doesn't move. Not to look up, or to answer.

She was expecting something like 'It is okay' or 'I am trying' or any solemn, resigned agreement. Now she doesn't know what to say at all - for a moment, her mind's frozen, sputtering on X's words like a broken record player.

X still looks like she is ready to fight someone.

Just --

Not Elle.

Not here.

Finally, "I didn't."

It's much weaker, nothing so matter-of-fact as the way she'd spoken earlier.

X doesn't lie. It's was one of the first things she learned about X.

you are like -

Elle looks up again, and admits, "I don't know."

"You did."

That fierceness isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

"You do."

She would promise, but --

She is not sure it would mean the same thing to both of them.

"Okay, I -"

Whatever Elle's going to say, it won't be 'I'm sorry' again. She doesn't look away not, but -

"I didn't want - I wasn't being efficient. When I went after him."

- she does change the subject.

X's nostrils flare slightly, as if she's checking for something.

Injuries, perhaps. And blood.

"You were hurt?"